必读!哈佛校报优秀文书作品赏析(1)

 
 
 
 
 
必读!哈佛校报优秀文书作品赏析(1)
                  
每年,哈佛校报《The Harvard Crimson》会根据新生申请,评选出10篇最佳优秀文书作品“10 Successful Harvard Application Essays”,以便申请者能更加直观地了解,到底什么样的文书才能打动招生官,在众多申请者中脱颖而出。
         
         
下面,让我们一起走进哈佛人的世界,探索他们成功的奥秘吧!
          
Eda's Essay: Homeless for Thirteen Years
无家可归十三年
 
I sat on my parents’ bed weeping with my head resting on my knees. “Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you have to show me the house and then take it away from me?” Hopelessly, I found myself praying to God realizing it was my last resort.
 
我坐在父母的床上,头靠膝盖而哭泣。“你为什么要这样对我?你为什么要带我去看房子,然后又把它拿走呢?”我绝望地向上帝祈祷,意识到这是我最后能做的。
 
 
For years, my family and I found ourselves moving from country to country in hopes of a better future. Factors, such as war and lack of academic opportunities, led my parents to pack their bags and embark on a new journey for our family around the world. Our arduous journey first began in Kuçovë, Albania, then Athens, Greece, and then eventually, Boston, Massachusetts. Throughout those years, although my family always had a roof over our heads, I never had a place I could call “home.”
 
多年来,我和我的家人从一个国家搬到另一个国家,希望有一个更好的未来。战争爆发,缺乏学习机会,或是其他的一些因素,促使我父母收拾行李,远走他乡,开始了我们家环游世界的旅程,艰苦的旅程从阿尔巴尼亚培拉特州开始,然后是希腊的雅典,最后是马萨诸塞州的波士顿。在那些年里,虽然我和我的家人总有栖身之所,但我从来没有一个可以称之为“家”的地方。
 
 
That night that I prayed to God, my mind raced back to the night I was clicking the delete button on my e-mails, but suddenly stopped when I came upon a listing of the house. It was September 22, 2007 —eight years exactly to the day that my family and I had moved to the United States. Instantly, I knew that it was fate that was bringing this house to me. I remembered visiting that yellow house the next day with my parents and falling in love with it. However, I also remembered the heartbreaking phone call I received later on that week saying that the owners had chosen another family’s offer.
 
在我向上帝祷告的那天晚上,我的思绪又回到了我正准备点击电子邮件上删除按钮的那个晚上。但当我看到那所房子的信息时,我的手突然停下来。那是2007年9月22日,距离我和我的家人搬到美国的那一天刚好八年。一瞬间,我就知道是命运把这所房子带到了我身边。我记得第二天和父母一起参观了那座黄色的房子,并爱上了它。然而,我也记得那周晚些时候我接到的令人心碎的电话,说业主选择了另一个家庭的出价。
 
 
A week after I had prayed to God, I had given up any hopes of my family buying the house. One day after school, I unlocked the door to our one-bedroom apartment and walked over to the telephone only to see it flashing a red light. I clicked PLAY and unexpectedly heard the voice of our real estate agent. “Eda!” she said joyfully. “The deal fell through with the other family—the house is yours! Call me back immediately to get started on the papers.” For a moment, I stood agape and kept replaying the words in my head. Was this really happening to me? Was my dream of owning a home finally coming true?
 
在我向上帝祈祷一周后,我放弃了我家买房的希望。一天放学后,我打开我们一室公寓的门,走到电话前,却看到它闪烁着红灯。我点播放,意外地听到了我们房产经纪人的声音。“埃达!”她高兴地说。“与另一家的交易失败了——房子是你的了!马上给我回电话,准备文件。”有那么一会儿,我呆呆地站着,不停地在脑海里回放这些话。这真的发生在我身上吗?我拥有房子的梦想终于实现了吗?
 
 
Over the month of November, I spent my days going to school and immediately rushing home to make phone calls. Although my parents were not fluent enough in English to communicate with the bank and real estate agent, I knew that I was not going to allow this obstacle to hinder my dream of helping to purchase a home for my family. Thus, unlike a typical thirteen-year-old girl’s conversations, my phone calls did not involve the mention of makeup, shoes, or boys. Instead, my conversations were composed of terms, such as “fixed-rate mortgages,” “preapprovals,” and “down payments.” Nevertheless, I was determined to help purchase this home after thirteen years of feeling embarrassed from living in a one-bedroom apartment. No longer was I going to experience feelings of humiliation from not being able to host sleepovers with my friends or from not being able to gossip with girls in school about who had the prettiest room color.
 
整个11月,我每天都去上学,然后马上赶回家打电话。虽然我的父母英语还不够流利,无法与银行和房产中介沟通,但我知道我不会让这个阻碍我帮助家人买房的梦想。因此,与一个典型的13岁女孩的谈话不同,我的电话中没有提到化妆品、鞋子或男孩。相反,我的谈话都是一些术语,比如“固定利率抵押贷款”、“预批准”和“首付”。尽管如此,我还是决定帮忙买下这所房子,因为13年来我一直对住在一居室公寓里感到很尴尬。我再也不会因为不能和朋友们一起过夜而感到丢脸,也不会因为不能在学校里和女生们八卦谁的房间颜色最漂亮而感到羞愧。
 
 
I had been homeless for the first thirteen years of my life. Although I will never be able to fully repay my parents for all of their sacrifices, the least I could do was to help find them a home that they could call their own—and that year, I did. To me, a home means more than the general conception of “four walls and a roof.” A home is a place filled with memories and laughter from my family. No matter where my future may lead me, I know that if at times I feel alone, I will always have a yellow home with my family inside waiting for me.
 
在我生命的头十三年里,我一直无家可归。尽管我永远无法完全报答父母所做的一切牺牲,但我至少可以帮助他们找到一个属于他们自己的家——那一年,我做到了。对我来说,家的意义不仅仅是“四面墙壁和一个屋顶”的一般概念。家是一个充满来自家人的回忆和笑声的地方。不管我的未来如何,我知道,如果我感到孤独的时候,我会有一个黄色的家,我的家人在里面等着我。
         
*哈佛校报的评论首先给了三个关键词:Honest. Heartbreaking. Powerful.
 
         
                                   
这篇文章让人耳目一新。作者避免了绝大多数essay里追求的所谓“完美”,而是承认内心的真实想法,比如在开头,她在父母床上哭泣,将她的不幸归咎于他们。
 
她的语言也很有力量。当她谈到爱上“那栋黄房子”时,我们的脑海中就会自动浮现出那栋房子的形象。当她说起得知“那栋黄房子”被卖给另一个家庭时的心碎时,我们也感到心痛。她故意选择“播放”她为我们收到的语音邮件,并包括她随后的内心想法,进一步吸引我们与她一起重温她的旅程。
         
然而,她不仅仅是告诉我们她的旅程。她强调了她的旅程是多么不同寻常。她不喜欢在电话里谈论化妆品或鞋子,而是和经纪人谈论固定利率抵押贷款和首付——所有这些都是在13岁的时候。虽然她没有明确地说明这一点(她不需要这样说):很明显,她必须快速成长,最终成为一个更强大的个体。
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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2023-10-20 08:47